The Pill To End Your Struggle In Life
This pill may be hard for you to swallow.
Either way, from the love of my heart, I give it to you
to consider. If you swallow it, your life will never be
the same. If you ignore it, you’ll wake up tomorrow as if
nothing had happened.
This pill will remain right here waiting for you until
you’ve gotten so sick of everything that you’re willing to
considering it.
But this is the key to unlocking the chains of struggle.
So here’s the pill:
All your struggles in life, are actually your addictions.
“What do you mean they are addictions? How dare you tell
me that I’m addicted to my problems,” is the common
response I get when I share this piece of truth.
If at reading these words, you feel confused, angry or
en-raged. This is good news.
Why?
Because, know my friend that this rage is not the rage at
these words, or at the author of them. It is the silent
rage of your spirit / consciousness / YOU discovering that
it has been living in a cage all these years.
This is the cage that is the source of all your
struggles.
Your mind may tell you “This isn’t true, I am free.” But
this is the belief of a prisoner who has never seen the
light of day and thinks that prison is life.
What is this cage?
Quite simply: Image.
When you were a child, you were image-less. Neither
bound or free.
At one point, the free spirit which is still alive and
free in you this moment innocently fell into believing that
you are a person with a set of beliefs, ideas, fears,
likes, and dislikes… with a past.
And a future.
And this defines who you are.
When you were a child, you loved innocently and
unconditionally. But at one point, this love was stomped
on. Most likely by your parents.
Very quickly you learned that you cannot just be and love
unconditionally in order to receive what appears as love in
return. Very quickly you learn that simply loving is not
enough to be loved.
So this is when your mind first generates an image for
you.
Some children learn that in order to get love, which
takes the form of attention, they need to behave badly.
Other children learn that in order to get love, they need
to behave good, and put on a happy face, smile at everyone.
Either way, it’s not enough to just be. There must be an
image, a filter for your heart between people. If this
filter is gone, this is terrifying, almost like jumping off
a plane without a parachute.
The most horrifying thing in our society is that most of
us learn that the only way to get love is through
expressing pain. As we are ignored as children, a lot of
us learn that if we cry, get upset, or throw a fit, then we
get attention, or what we want.
How funny that the only way most of us can relate with
other human beings is through pain. Just observe how
people talk with each other. First you say: “Hello, how
are you?” But within just a couple minutes, very soon the
conversation turns to problems, or about what is wrong, and
how it could be better.
Even if the problem/pain is only minor… it’s still a
conversation purely built on pain. Because if I’m in pain,
and you’re in pain, then we know who we are, and we are
safe.
Because everything about your image is about safety. It
has nothing, and I repeat:
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with who you truly are, and what
you truly want. It’s all about safety, and closing off
your heart from being vulnerable.
And the fear of vulnerability is the butt-plug in the ass
of humanity. It’s the source of the whole mess. All the
“struggle”
Without image, there is no struggle.
Yes, there is still pain. Yes, there is still sadness
and heartache. Pain is pain, but struggle is the mental
story about the pain.
Struggle is the mental story that says “What is happening
is not meeting the requirements of my reality(my image), so
I must resist them with my entire being.”
So if your image is that of a “victim”, it is based on an
event that happened in the past, this is where you get your
image. People who are victims actually enjoy being
victims. Even though they make it look like they do not.
These people go around telling their victim story to
everyone. To them, all of life, all of reality is one big
villain who has victimized them. This is how they see
their reality. This is how they relate to people and how
they feel special.
If you are a victim, you will always do things in victim
ways.
If your image is that of a “successful” person, it is based
on the imagination that who you are is successful, that you
weren’t successful in the past, and that you are now, or
have to be in the future.
You see your whole reality as successful or not
successful. Who ever you talk to, meet, or watch on TV you
analyze them through this filter of successful or not
successful.
If you are successful, you spend your whole life trying
to be successful.
If your image is that of someone who is helpful,
nurturing. As someone who “helps other people.” This is a
mask as well.
Who will you be when there is no one else to help? Your
image is based on the fact that there will always be people
worse off than you.
If you are helpful, you spend your life-time trying to be
helpful, and upholding this image.
If you are righteous or spiritual, you will then wear a
righteous and spiritual mask, and this mask will be the
filter of your reality. Whatever your idea of a spiritual
person is, you will wear and present this idea on your face
and how you act wherever you are, with whoever you are.
There are many, many, many masks… And we won’t list
them all here because it would make a book. What is true
is that all these masks are hiding your true nature which
will set you free beyond the depths of your imagination.
Your true nature will unlock the chains of all your
struggles.
So what is your image? You have the power to inquire
deep within right now and see it for yourself, ask yourself
honestly…
“What is the mask I am hiding behind?”
Don’t wait for a right answer, or an answer that the
person who your mind tells you you are would come up with.
Inquire deep into your heart.
Once you see it for the first time. Do not question it,
dive deep into this image and explore how it is running
your life.
Notice how in every situation, especially when you
struggle, you’re fighting to uphold this image in some way.
You’re trying to prove this image to yourself. You’re
trying to prove this image to others. You are trying to
prove it to the world.
It takes a lot of energy to fight with yourself. Notice
the amount of energy that goes into upholding this image.
Now you realize that every struggle, hasn’t been a
struggle with anyone else but yourself. You are fighting
with yourself.
You may even notice that every goal and desire you
unleash unto the world actually comes from the very depths
of trying to uphold this image.
Trace the image that you wear most often and you will
find it’s roots…
Because every image is simply hiding you from being
vulnerable and exposed. It is hiding some pain which you
are running away from, someone you are terrified of
becoming.
Images work both ways. Image is someone you want to
become and value being. And also the opposite of someone
who you are terrified of becoming.
Every image is hiding you from vulnerability. It is
hiding your heart from the deepest jolt of love you will
ever feel. Living with a closed heart is struggle.
And it’s an addiction.
It’s an addiction because it keeps you safe. And safety
is all you’ve known for all these years. This addiction
has been your cage, it has shaped your entire life, your
entire reality.
What happens when you put down your image?
It’s terrifying at first. It will be the most terrifying
thing you ever do. And the final liberation of the truth
of who you are.
At any moment you have the opportunity to let go of your
image completely and dive into the imageless empty field of
your awareness from which love and abundance sprouts
spontaneously.
How do you know when you’re about to put down your image?
When you step into the unknown. When you trace the image
which you wear most often back to it’s roots and face that
which you are most terrified of.
If you wear a successful image, you’re terrified of being
a nobody. If you wear a peaceful image, you’re terrified
of being out of control.
Consider the fact that everything which is so real to
you, would only be my imagination.
Face that which you are terrified off and watch it shrink
until it disappears.
When you first begin to put down your image, you’ll
notice you feel terrified, don’t avoid this terror, this
fear. Stay in it…Don’t resist it. Next you will feel
vulnerable. This is good news.
Most people have gone so numb from vulnerability they
almost jump out of their skin when they first experience it
consciously. This is the beginning of real love in your
life. True liberation.
Next you may notice a pressure in your chest… a
vulnerable pressure. This is your heart opening to the
entire world. This is the beginning of a new life. Living
from this place watch how a deep unforced love begins to
take over. Real love.
From this place, a new life begins. You are free. And
finally,… not only happy… but at peace. True peace.
Everything about image is conditioned by your past and by
your mind’s desire for safety. Conditioned by the
importance you put on what others opinions are.
You cannot run away from you. Your image will haunt you
every step of the way, wherever you are. Until you face
it. It is hiding your true face-less face.
It feels like sky-diving into the void. And this void is
the love of your true nature.
This is sky-diving school.
And what I’m inviting you to do is to put down your
parachute.
Kacper M. Postawski
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
About The Author
Kacper M. Postawski writes to point you to the radient
and abundant nature of your true self. Check out
the I Am Now Group @ www.IAmnow.com, and the transcendental
book: “A Thousand Fingers Pointing At The Moon”
www.ThousandFingers.com
You are free to use and distribute this article on your
website as long as you keep the contents and the author
information in tact. e-mail: Kacper@IAmNow.com
April 10th, 2006 at 4:34 am
Well , what can I say , inspiring? Moving? touching?
No , I will say that this is truth.
Utterly unadulterated truth.
thank you Kacper.
April 10th, 2006 at 5:58 am
Kacper, I just want you to know that I am deeply grateful for every message that I have ever received from you, and I am delighted that we now have a blog available.
I first heard about you from John, when he told us about “Swimming in Abundance,” and I purchased it.
I was a bit doubtful, at first, since I have been what some call a seeker for many years now and have studied a wide variety of ideologys along the “Way.” I have listened to the principles, for lack of a better word, that you expose to us to expressed in many different ways from great teachers like Guy Finley, Eckhard Tolle, Krishnamurti & Adyashanti to name just a few. However, without taking any credit from them, because they are wonderful, unlimited, enlightened individuals, it is the way that you say it that is allowing all of the tiny, seemingly disparent, pieces to fall into place for me.
Guy Finley once said that the different approaches to the teachings by different individual teachers is like the difference between a tulip and a daffodil. If you are, lets say a carnation, then I must be as well, because everything you write expresses Truth in such a way that it goes directly to my heart and easily pierces the outer shell to allow in another ray of light.
This latest “Pill” is no exception. It says the very things I have always known, but had forgotten in this land of amnesia. Thank You, Thank You & Thank you again. From the heights and depths of my Being I thank you.
April 10th, 2006 at 6:08 am
This is so on the button. My mask has been kindness and goodness and I have been terrified of anger, both mine and of those around me. I believe this has been holding me back from receiving abundance and success because I believe I can’t have neither until I’m good enough. Thank you so much for clarifying this for me. Keep up the good work. You are one of very few that I look forward to receiving e-mails from:)
April 10th, 2006 at 6:20 am
You write such truths. I wont argue with any of it as it makes so much sense.
April 10th, 2006 at 6:48 am
WOW! Thanks Kacper, for the website…I am loving this. Keep it coming, you’re really scaring me, and I love it.
April 10th, 2006 at 7:00 am
Kacper, this website and the emails you have been sending out are powerful stuff.
It is eye opening to say the least. I think life changing would be a mild way to put it.
April 10th, 2006 at 8:24 am
Dear Kacper,
I would like to thankyou for your lovely site and mailings.Subscribing to ur emails was the best thing I could have done, with your messages helping me immensely, through a tough time.
I have recently had my third child, and during the pregnancy I pretty much had a nervous breakdown.My darling little girl has been thriving and I am recovering slowly but surely, and I find your messages put a smile on my face as they remind me of teachings I had been taught once before but had forgotten.My mother had taken me to a meditation group when I was depressed while in my teens.Although I initially thought it was some kind of weird cult, I kept going and after several months, found I was feeling better, good things started happening and I could LIVE again.
I like that your messages are easy to read and understand and are straight to the point.You are a great writer and Teacher.
Once again thankyou, with Love from Sarah
April 10th, 2006 at 8:44 am
I am a true believer that when the student is ready the teacher will appear!!! Words cannot express my appreciation for your message at this time in my life…………………
April 10th, 2006 at 9:00 am
Hellow, I feel so touched and calmed in a way i can’t even explain after reading this. In the past two weeks i have meditated on my desire to “open my heart”. I have felt the kind of pressure you are talking about and in the past three days i have felt so much fear and had scary nightmares about losing something that i did not want to loose, waking up screming and calling to it. Recently i started being afraid of meditating coz i felt like i was going to die, or have a heartattack and desapear into some black hole that i felt my self sinking into. I’m 32 and very healthy!
I still desire to “open my heart” and to have love in abundance, any advice on how to move on without being so scared?
I think i realize what my mask is - i always wantd to be good and i think i understand that i have it from my childhood since the worst thing for me to this day is when my mum says that i am bad, mean, heartless etc not good!
Thank you so much for all your earlier writtings i have always enjoyed reading your messages.
With love and to love
Abby
April 10th, 2006 at 9:36 am
Thanks for the “The Pill To End Your Struggle.”
Everything you said sounds true, and in my 53 years I can agree that my rises and my falls were to achieve an image and then lose it when I couldn’t protect the falls bliefs that got me there.
I desire to experience the abundance of God in my life, and I am learning that that abundance is already flowing through my life if only I can be aware of it with “thanks.”
I desire to be completely fearless, and now I’m hearing that the fear, whatever it is, is a false image and therefore face it calmly.
Please help me understand this more of this, because I am quite passionate and I want to love completely and unconditionally.
Warm regards, Kacper!
Reggie
April 10th, 2006 at 10:01 am
Great article, I love the concept “it’s an addiction”
My question would be “HOW”
How do I go about letting go of my image?
How do I trace it back to its roots?
How do I face my fears? And not run back and hide behind my image.
I have to tell you just how much I have been enjoying your emails lately.
I have been on your list for sometime now, there was a shift in your emails these past several months. I haven’t totally grasped whether this shift is within me reading your emails or with you writing them.
Either way I’m grateful for this clear understanding.
Thank you
KEN
April 10th, 2006 at 10:14 am
Thank you for your “pill”. This is great. Keep on. I am inspired. And your picture, your face, is a true signature what you have written.
Love and blessings.
Halina Baranowski
April 10th, 2006 at 10:23 am
Kacper,
What you are saying in this article rings true in my heart, I’ve been reading Eckhart Tolle’s book “The Power of NOW’ for over 5 months and what you are putting forth is in the same vein yet fresh and from another angle. I feel we are upon an awakening and the more I try and get in touch with who I really am the more we can help this world realize what is really important. We come into this world alone and leave the same way yet our society demands we put on a mask and conform. I’m no longer going to believe what I’m being told by society and live from my heart.
April 10th, 2006 at 11:59 am
Nicely stated. I am eager to see just how deep we all go. I for one am ready for it all and have been on this path for a while. I can tell anyone reading this that it truly is not painful, just fearful, but fear is a state of mind and not a pain. It really doesn’t hurt, in fact, it is quite the opposite. It is very pleasureable.
April 10th, 2006 at 2:13 pm
I really appreciate this information. It is extremely helpful but somewhat unimaginable to attain. I think I do know what I am most afraid of and that person I don’t want to become. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to liberate myself from this image. I can see it but don’t know what to do next. Should I now face it and erase it from my mind or try to understand why I feel the way I do about this image and person. Can you please help?
April 10th, 2006 at 3:02 pm
Kacper,
You have always thought outside the box and your fear conquering “sky diving” school is no exception. Your stream of consciousness interrupted me at a poignant moment. I am currently resolving a 21 year relationship with my wife. Divorce is excruciating for both of us and especially so for her. I think she might benefit a great deal from your thinking. She is averse to organized religious thought and is in public, quite a respected therapist and social worker. What she is able to do for others seems out of reach for her. She painfully struggles to control her own fears which plague her no end. In our closest moments I have never succeeded in conquering her fears of abandonment and in an act of self survival I have had to painfully confront my own fears. You describe a visceral clash of
a house divided against itself which can never stand. The wisdom may originate in the Bible but it is timeless and is desparately needed in all societies. Thank You for giving your time, attention and heart to sharing the truth of yourself. I hope you consider me a friend. You have been and are one to me.
April 10th, 2006 at 4:23 pm
this is brilliant! I am much more full of love now to the max! hahahha wqhat a feeling! eyeyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cmon!!!
i love life!
April 10th, 2006 at 4:36 pm
Kacper
It’s been my experience that what you are asking people to do, examine their fears/get beyond their conditioning and into Spirit, is much easier said than done and is a lifelong journey. While I commend you for exhorting people to wake up and become more conscious, I don’t see the back up support or “technology” that would be needed for people to do this successfully. And this refers to people who are basically, mentally “healthy”. “Unhealthy” people on the other hand, by taking your advice, might end up in a condition that you did not intend.
My two cents worth.
April 10th, 2006 at 5:01 pm
who helped you reach enlightenment Kacper?. I strive for enlightenment myself & would like to know the exact path to take. I am sick of all the false info out there & have spent every penny i had trying to get to where you are. I want it so much i will pawn a kidney to have the life we are supposed to have. So please,please use i little of the love in your heart to help me get that life & to feel love for myself my fellow man and for life. I will do anything to achieve this anything, please HELP !!!!!!!.
April 10th, 2006 at 8:28 pm
Thankyou, I have always wanted something more and true and your words are having a profounf effect on my life.
Keep it coming please
April 10th, 2006 at 8:34 pm
What can I say Kacper? You have helped guide me back to my true path. You have reminded me of the importance of stillness. I have always thought of myself as an observer, but now I see and feel so much more.
This appears to be a great bunch of people and I have read some really wonderful comments. I think that Sherry hit it right on when she said “when the student is ready the teacher will appear”
We are all at different stages of our journey and I think that it is great that people put their 2cents in even if there is the feeling of doubt or concern about a certain approach.
Kacper, with his wonderful gift of words is not telling us that this is the way and you must follow it. He is simply providing us with the opportunity to look deeper into our true selves. We will all interpret what he says and what everyone else comments on…differently. And that is largely due to us being hypnotised…..I believe at least.
Anyhow, I really appreciate this opportunity to meet each of you. We are all connected and that is truly a wonderful thing.
Scott
April 10th, 2006 at 8:41 pm
Hey scott
Good to hear from you. Yeah… we’ve all been hypnotized 
But this is a simple innocent mis-understanding really.
We all believe that we are human beings seeking oneness and happiness. An innocent misunderstanding.
In waking up to the truth, you actually realize you are the one temporaraly experiencing itself as the life of a human being
April 10th, 2006 at 9:16 pm
Thank you for those words Kacper. They help.
April 10th, 2006 at 9:28 pm
I love it when you explain a “piece of the truth” from a different perspective!! The little bulb just lights up!
Keep up the good work and don’t forget G_I_L
April 10th, 2006 at 10:18 pm
The words everyone has said is how I feel. Thank you Kacper. Terry
April 10th, 2006 at 10:30 pm
Hello Kacper:
April 10.2006 at 10:05 p.m.
Thank You, for your wonderful word they are moving and inspiring. Please keep them coming! I have been searching for something that will help me to find out who I am really are.
April 11th, 2006 at 6:41 am
Wow Kacper!
This article has blown me away and has peeled back so much fog. I can so identify with living in a cage of our own image which we reinforce day after day every day of our lives and the problem is we always end up in the same place despite all our effort and energy and struggle - nothing changes.
You have shown me there is a posibility of genuine change and have given me hope right when I needed it
At the moment I feel like I am seeing through frosted glass as to the way out - its not quite in focus yet but I am sure it will come. Kacper thank you and I hope you can continue as a guide pointing the way.
April 11th, 2006 at 7:50 am
Dear All,
We need to try to re-awaken the innocent uncondtioned “child” in every one of us. Having been a teacher for many years, I know that childhood innocent remarks, have the power to shock and make us “conditioned ” adults think back to the very core of our being and existence.
Lawrence
April 11th, 2006 at 9:18 am
Kacper,
Thank you for everything - I think we are all teachers and students and I am grateful that I decided to read your e-mails and recieve your teachings into my life to help me remember.
I loved reading what others had written it’s wonderful to know that there are many other people in the world right now asking questions and wanting answers; with a desire to understand, to learn, to be who they truely are; it warms my heart
The awakening is here
Love and light to you as always
Lisa
April 11th, 2006 at 10:29 am
The idea that we are living an “image” is very similar to what Don Miguel Ruiz says in “The Four Agreements”, where he describes that we are living a “dream”. The parts of the “image” that we live which are destructive are the “negative agreements” described by Don Miguel. For example, “I’m too fat”, “I’m too ugly”, “I’m too poor”, etc. These negative images, or agreements with some external assessment, have been internalized and we are continually judging ourselves.
By breaking these negative agreements, and replacing them with at least four healthy agreements will help us live a healthy dream of abundance. The four agreements are:
1. Be Impeccable with your words
2. Don’t take things personally
3. Don’t make assumptions
4. Always do your best
April 11th, 2006 at 3:25 pm
Dear Kacper,
Your “pill” is so needed by everyone! The real challenge is: HOW TO BRING THEM TO THAT REALIZATION?
I estimate that at least 99.9% of people have no clue who & what they are, and by that I mean on the spiritual level. They are egos with bodies, and do not know that they are all part of that eternal consciousness & love that we can call “God” or “the Divine”.
It can be very lonely for those of us who already know who we are….wishing you love & peace always!!!
April 11th, 2006 at 4:55 pm
You have always been there when things gets rough though i never called on you,i got married on April 9 2005 and got a letter from my wives lawyer on April 10 2006 terminating the union,i spent only two weeks with my wife but could not join her due to imigration problems,she like the officials never gave me any chance to ask any question as to why all these drama.
I turn to myself and have been wondering and asking why me?Though my woman said the love she had for me never changes, i find it difficult to believe her, i feel she’s someone else.
This pill came like most of your timely, accurate, spiritual and positive bombs to awaken and enlighten us all.
ADDICTION IS SLAVERY,is boldly written on my shop door as a warning to smoking customers but now i see it goes beyond that.
Thank You Living Angel.
April 15th, 2006 at 9:31 pm
Dear Kacper,
I have just listened to and read your “Dancing with the Universe”
It’s awesome! I am so thankful that this has come to me at this time in my life. I am 48 years of age, I’ve been married for 26 years this past february. My husband and I have two beautiful, grown children.
My husband works with an aerospace company and was given the opportunity to work for four months in Taipei, Taiwan. He left last October 31st and was supposed to come home on this february 18th. He e-mailed me on the 19th and said he didn’t want to remain married anymore. He did call me a couple hours after I received his message. Needless to say,
my heart is completley broken and I am finding it very difficult to manage.
I would love to receive the Power Pause that you and John mention in Dancing with the Universe. Could you please let me know how I can go about receiving that? Forever Gratefull, Sherry Winkler
April 17th, 2006 at 7:28 pm
Kacper, wow man! You the man….man.
without my map and parachute (I must be bonkers)
I echo everyone’s evaluation of you. You have a knack for inspiring people and for that I am grateful to be on your mailing list.
I feel blessed & inspired at this very moment. I am 25 and I find the ‘mask’ and all the other material stuff which I do for so many hours of my day my biggest hurdle. I am scared on a daily basis if I’m honest, of little things like taking chances or trying new things. Moments like this one though, with this very realisation, helps me see them for what they really are & that’s the truly frightening part because it’s all been a waste of time and energy. I do not believe instead I know (leaving no room for doubt) that we are meant to face our fears to overcome them, instead of pretending they don’t exist.
Now feeling inspired I want to venture into the unknown and stop living inside my comfort zone and start living with passion and abundance.
Its all about being honest with yourself “A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes”-Ghandi
I guess if more people spent more time thinking about what really matters then the world would truly be a better place.
The key for me though is actually taking action and doing something about it instead of just thinking it!
Thanks for the map Columbus, I think this is the bit where I jump off the plane solo….not literally of course
April 17th, 2006 at 7:37 pm
Hey Paul,
this sounds like some great breakthroughts.
But, what if you are not a “man”?
Find out what comes before that identity.
Kacper
April 17th, 2006 at 8:11 pm
Hey, Gahndi said not me
Sorry ladies
April 18th, 2006 at 12:48 am
Dear Kacper,
Many many many THANKS!!! Waiting for MORE & hoping for MORE.
Best Regards,
Shams
April 18th, 2006 at 1:18 am
Hi Kacper,
Nice to receive mails from you, you are one of the unusual people I encounter with. Love reading your mails but I find it so difficult to practise what you have taught in your mails eg like putting behind my life struggles, everytime I try to put in behind me, it will resurface quicky and place before me again. How can I finally put a rest to all of these?
April 18th, 2006 at 2:28 am
Kacper,
So glad you have started this. I think I am at a crossroads now. I have done the reading and analysing bit for far too long now. Really trying to look inside myself and see what is pushing my self destruct button. Bit of a breakthrough this morning, I am sure I feel somewhere deep within that I don’t deserve to be happy for some reason and therefore start deliberately but unknowingly pushing my loved ones away to prove my point - self fulfilling prophecies! I keep trying to be silent and to let go but I feel maybe I am trying too hard, have you any tips which may help me please?
Many thanks, I always enjoy checking my mailbox and finding something from you, usually arrives when I most need it too!
April 18th, 2006 at 4:02 am
hi kacper,
I have been a regular reader of your articles and had been the purchaser of powerfulsleep e-book and peacefulmind wizard cd. Now, this blog actually inspires me to analyze my deep rooted fears and it has helped to awaken myself from the darkness i have been hiding into. Thanx for showing me the light of hope to reveal the great facts to overcome struggles of life.
Love your articles!!
Shruti (India)
April 18th, 2006 at 4:03 am
Fantastic thoughts……
I am just reading the lasting book in the series of books that began with Celestine Prophecy…..i just happened to come across this just after reading a particularly powerful passage, one that covered the topic of fear and the connection to our energies this has. Furthermore the overall concept to the book is one of awakening, that humankind is destined to awaken and shift awareness to one based on the energy of ‘imageless’ existance and interaction with one another. The words above are powerful because they describe our true nature ; this is tremendously liberating and terrifying at the same time.
Reading others responses above it is clear that there is a growing awareness of who we are deeply and the difficulty is grasping this new concept via the medium of our surface or ego/image projecting minds. i.e. i understand via my image of wanting to be at peace and able to help others whilst finding this peace…or the description of feeling lonely in the world where others are ‘not aware’….this perhaps being an understanding via the image of wanting to be spiritually aware and wanting others to join this spirituality. Letting go of images or ego based projections of self to jump into the void of this new awareness is certainly scary….desiring to take chances and live life without fear is important too yes… as i sit here at the computer and think: ” who am i and how do i let go of this image i project for myself” i inevitably create the answer via this very image….however, in frustration i walk out onto my deck to look at the sky…for a moment i feel something that can only be described now as fear with such large space extending up and beyond and i realise that despite this communal desire to rid ourselves of our images and face our fears, to some degree, without them and the frustration / anxiety, fear etc they have brought…our steps towards a greater awareness perhaps may have been a little longer in coming (or being created internal/ externally). I suppose i feel that for me this terrifying void in which awakening exists lies upon a knife edge of the opposites in life, the yin and the yang…dark/light etc…I know this itself is an image of existence i create for better understanding, however at some point within the words and thoughts we create will lead us to the edge of understanding and then…..life itself. I look forward to these moments and everyone else’s moments, because they are one and the same….when i feel the empty void of fear developing internally i just know that it is my inner universe beginning to be awakened. Namaste all and thank you Kacper
April 18th, 2006 at 4:30 am
Kacper dear! well, i’v been thinking on this thing. Nice to meet friends. thankyou for finding us! that’s the help!
April 18th, 2006 at 11:22 am
April 18, 2006 at 11:19 a.m.
Dear Kacper:
I think that was wonderful and it was very inspiring to me. I thank you so much for though word it really let me know that all these years I have overlook the little things that I should have been aware of thank again for helping me to see that. I appreciate that more than you will ever know. Keep it coming and soon I will be that person that I always wanted to be and more. Thank You so very kindless!
April 18th, 2006 at 12:41 pm
Kacper,
Your Spirit is so open and life giving. All of us that receive your e-mails and have purchased your items truly appreciate YOU for being the best you can be….and still growing. After reading through the comments I see so many that want to achieve but don’t understand the design and process in getting there. “Believe” & “Gratitude” are the main elements. So many are held back from growth by falling prey to their own ‘belief system.’ My suggestion to those that find themselves in that postition is…through meditation…release ALL of your beliefs to your Creator and ask for Wisdom and Common sense. The doors will miraculously fly open. LET GO!!! and FLY! ‘We’ are the ONLY LIMITATION that we place on ourselves. Thank you again Kacper for making this world a better place for those that seek the truth.
April 20th, 2006 at 2:03 pm
Dear Kacper,
It’s my pleasure to tell you that your words are food for the mind, most of your comments are something that touches one’s feelings leaving the one with such atmosphere of lightness of mind and confident . Please keep up the good work. more love.
April 22nd, 2006 at 5:45 am
Kacper
Your words are massively thought provoking. They deliver a message many are waiting for. You appear to be delving into the core issues facing us all and society as a whole.
I personally am using my limited knowledge on meditation and prayer to try and identify and let go of my mask.
Whilst I am sure Cds would help, everyone seems to calling out for you to develop online courses on HOW to support your teachings.
We are a corporate and life coaching company who have partnered with , and developed our course via, a new online course builder and initial responses are good (early days).
if you are thinking of developing your ideas into courses (please do), maybe this could help. the addres is www.satoribroadcasting.com.
Whatever you do the site info is fantastic keep it up. I await new articles to absorb.
God bless
John
April 23rd, 2006 at 2:45 am
Brilliant and humble !
My core fear is of disapproval and/or rejection.
Then I looked deeper and made a profound discovery.
I realized that as an innocent child I lived in the present moment as Non-Dual Source. I was a full expression of FREEDOM, loving joyful and peaceful. There was no mind or ego that looked to the past or worried about the future. There was only NOW. There was no image/identity or a self that exhibited self-importance or the need to protect itself. I was One with all-there-is and I loved all-there-is.
Until… the ego-mind began asserting itself. I started thinking, judging, comparing, evaluating, associating, assigning meaning and conclusions… all these amount to forming beliefs… viewing myself as separated from others.
With the experience of rejection and disapproval a most detrimental belief was formed (without even being aware I have assumed it). I began to believe that “THE SOURCE OF WHAT I FEEL AND WHAT I EXPERIENCE IS OUT THERE (MOM AND DAD)”.
The pivotal force of this belief is in transfering REAL power and the gifts of True Essence to an external source.
And since then we are growing to be co-dependent, separated and
addicted to external sources to fulfill our yearning for love, connection,
peace and freedom. While the only TRUE Source for them is closer than anything you can name.
I view every belief as a lie. Because beliefs are subject to change, thus they do not exist in the realm of the Absolute-Truth-Reality. You know the saying “The Truth Shall Set You Free”. The other side of it is that EVERY LIE KILLS YOU.
When I assumed the lie that someone else is Source, I died. Now, when I dived into my fear of disapproval and rejection I died again, but in the opposite direction. With the first death I lost my innocence, the joy, the love, the peace and the freedom. I lost my True Essence. With the second death I returned to this True Essence.
It is like waking up from a strange dream and realizing what is… here… now… the eternal. The sun is always here, even when it is obscured by clouds.
April 23rd, 2006 at 7:31 am
Kacper your way with words are brilliant. Thank you !
April 24th, 2006 at 2:59 am
Hey Kacper,
I’ve been a bit behind in my reading of newsletters, doing a bit of catching up. Seems I’ve missed a lot.
As always not just thought provoking, but the best kind of action provoking.
Keep it up.
Be well, live well, die last.
Allen
April 25th, 2006 at 8:40 pm
Dear Kacper,
Thank you for that. I realise now that it is a good idea to remember back to when I was very young and know that ‘they’ cannot hurt me now. I, too, have suffered from a lack of abundance by waiting for someone, anyone, to tell me that I’m good enough now for whatever wonderful things life has to offer. Remember your parents saying, “If you are good you can have that’. That being the candy, the new dress, the toy, but now it is everything that you need and deserve. Some of us feel we can’t even have that.
So, I will keep facing my image of the sacrificer and martyr who tries everything (including losing my own identity) to quell other’s anger by submitting to their neediness. Never do anything for someone who can easily achieve it for themselves.
Again, thank you.
Lisa
April 27th, 2006 at 9:41 am
Please, please tell us HOW to delve deep to find our true selves. I meditate and cannot switch off my anxious state, my heartbeat is pounding in my head and won’t calm down enough to allow me to release the many masks I have been hiding behind such as: victim mentality, do gooder, neediness, ‘ I can cope with anything’ (when really I’m a nervous wreck). All these have left me with deep depression and anxiety for many years. Please help in any way. My negativity is all consuming. What could I possibly be under all these masks and how would I act in any circumstance?
May 3rd, 2006 at 11:59 am
I believe this to be true, each day I try and stay in the present moment and be the observer of my world. With all the wisdom and knowledge I have gained I still spend a lot of time feeling a combination of anxiety and pain. Knowing it is not enough being it 24/7 is the key.
Is anyone there yet?
May 3rd, 2006 at 1:29 pm
Getting there! But know a lot of enlightened dudes who are
The time of your awakening is coming, it’s closer than your breath actually becuase you are already there.
Follow the tugging in your heart in these matters, it won’t lie to you.
May 18th, 2006 at 12:24 am
Kacper,
I am forever in your debt for this blog. I know I was meant to find this website so I can begin to peel back the masks and find myself.
May 20th, 2006 at 12:06 am
Just want to let you know how grateful I am that I’m on your email list. I found you accidently (!) when searching the web on sleep disorders for one of my kids. Looking forward to more and will be purchasing your book soon. Thanks Kacper. Can you give us a little bio on yourself. You’re so young and I wondered how you arrived at your philosophy at such an early age. Looking forward to it. Bye and Thanks again. Jackie
May 28th, 2006 at 9:05 am
This was written on 18th May 2006. Much has happened since then, including 2 accupuncture sessions (following on from the 6 previous ones), Buying, reading and finishing Paulo Coelcho’s latest book “Zephir” (ive only ever read his “Alchemist” 4 years ago) and by the luck/will of God reaching a kind of redemption with my ex-girlfriend (of 2 years). Infact, when i wrote this I had to save as draft in my email due to the Internet cafe closing so soon, and I had wanted to write much more, in much more fuller depth. But anyway, here goes:
18th May 2006:
That article was wonderful. i needed that.
now listen. kinda coincidentaly I just glanced over the gospel according to judas over 2 hours ago. it was very good.
In it, Jesus (from seth gnostic angle) likens the creator gods of this world as not the true one autogenistic consciousness that we are (god within you) and that this world is an evil place to be gone transcended, “escaped” (for lack of a better word) etc . this sounds like a mixture of dzogchen and sutra budhism.
Crudely; death is admirable and this world is evil! (duality lol!) but there is space for laughter (which is what jesus does frequently in the gospel).
anyway. your article above is SOOOOO true. I feel it. But! Is it another means to keep one imprisoned in this creator god illusion world/reality?
Tao - vulnerability - etc etc is all well and true. I feel it. But what im asking is HOW do I put down the parachute ?!?!?!?!???!?!?!????!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!??!?!
And I’ve seen the cycles, aportioned the self fulfilling prophacies, given all that i could until i have nothing! and felt ok. but i really want to leave the country and make a good enjoyable life (’dunia’! lol!) and i really want to be enlightened, and i really need to open express enjoy risk live laugh loose gain etc and remove my hate.
But how my friend. how?
It seems only when im in religious prayer, rememberence of Allah, 5 minutes before i drift off to sleap while reading the Tibetan Book of the Dead or Original Tao, or Stephen Mitchel, or David Icke, or Rumi or whatever (or from “a world living angle” when im just not integrating, giving, loving, being loved, doing, actioning, and instead just dying like a useless comatose) that i feel that some of the parachute is off.
shitty self-inflicted feelings of responsibility to my parents dont help either. (although my mother is selfless and my father is more loving then most) My MS dont help either although its mostly in my head. Non-clicking with people dont help. nothing being enjoyable dont help either.
dying looks like the best option. You seem like a good bloke. but are you a dajjal?
Karma Dorje Ikhlas (not my real name)
—–
after drafting the above and before sending to you, ive been able to communicate elements of “my story” to certain people (brother, boss, my ex, dad and sister - in that order), as such releasing some of the tension and ‘bad stuff’. although in my mind - resentment, caution, recklessness, longing and paranoia is still here. People have communicated thier stuff to me two. 2 years ago, my boss (he has/had ME) lost his wife, home, children and job on the same day. after 2 weeks of tears and really feeling like suicide on the london underground etc he picked himself up with some self-induced and discaplined NLP, and is now Director of company, on TV once a week as a presenter of political program, has a new wife who is the woman of his dreams, is doing a degree part time (philosophy i think) and is King-Fu expert too. He is a joker too. Weve had lots of arguments in the past 2 weeks. but i see things/signs all over. and i dont trust anyone really. it seems its all my fault. but i have alot to thank him for. He really is a good man.
Youve asked for my website. I dont have one but here are some that I know of:
David Icke’s website: www.davidicke.com
My Brothers Websites: www.bringbackjustice.com & www.theinimitablequaran.com
Meaning of life website:
http://www.meaningoflife.i12.com/Sufism.htm
http://www.meaningoflife.i12.com/dzogchen.htm
http://www.meaningoflife.i12.com/Tao.htm
http://www.meaningoflife.i12.com/dramas.htm
(ive just read a bit of this one now and its quite true again.) [but hang on, the mistaken zen side to my mind says; ’so what? trees grow, flowers bloom’]
http://www.meaningoflife.i12.com/conclusion.htm
May 28th, 2006 at 9:39 am
Formost is “why?” why I, we humans write these words and have these questions, feel these things, go through it all, and why am i writing this.
Now i know about not accepting your humanity and hence being sucked into the ‘dark side’, so the question in part and essence vanishes, but it still remains; the why do I? why am I? why such pain? such ego? such suffering? why such anger? why such hurt? why such hate? why such fear? why? why transformation? why change? why need to change? why better? why worse? why improve? why effort? why no effort?
But Please give me your take as to the answer of the 2 questions ive asked.
1. How do I (or how would u) put down the parachute ? and;
2. Are you a dejjal? lol - please dont take that offensively.
one more:
3. Paul McKenna talks about self-image too. Dzogchen:
On the early morning of the 20th of May 2006 I had a vivid dream for the 1st time in 2-3 years.
Then, on the way to accupuncture I read bits of Chogyal Norbu’s book - i was calm that morning and your powerfull article above was reletively fresh in my mind. I was reading in a flow and i clicked on this he quoted:!
“IT IS NOT CIRCUMSTANCES WHICH ARISE AS A KARMIC VISION THAT CONDITION A PERSON INTO DUALISTIC STATE, ITS A PERSONS OWN ATTACHMENT THAT ENABLES WHAT ARISES TO CONDITION HIM.”
- Chögyal Namkhai Norbu, ‘The Crystal and the Way of Light’. Snow Lion Publications.
Which links to what you say above in your article. (everything links to everyhing which links to one. all is one). I even copied it down in to my newly aquired note book and newly acquited habit of writing things down and wrote below it “See: (Kacper M. Postawski) self pity, poor me” and the word “Why?” below everything. even though it was a few days since id read your article. i remembered elements and felt i had to come back to review it. it - you are important.
I was getting the the books flow however until i came to my stop and had to continue with life. later on I got lost again in the streets of london. later on found it again.
anyway, do you have an answer for the ” Why? ” below everything in my note book.
Even though i cant cook and have limited experience of many of the things which an adult should have done by the age of 28. like living away from parents etc etc. so im no one to challenge. just interested in your answers. even though i know your answer to the why isnt going to help me. the here and now is more important your gonna say. which i can ask why again. lol
can a human comprehend the why? can a human comprehend the question?
Is tavistock running my mind? have aliens taken control? is this the truman show? is this the matrix? [why does it seem that every subtle potentially life enhancing - me - choice ive taken or was about to take thinking it in my head, was ‘thwarted’* by those close to me? i dont even cry anymore. its expected. whats the point? … and they dont need to to do much to stop my when im feeling down, but the way circumstances play out when ive almost there and feeling empowered and “yes i can do this” is just too funny to beleive] youve gotta laugh.
*by ‘thwarted’ i could mean just the sound of thier voice, or a request, or a change of plan on their part to come and see me when for the lasy week when i needed them they were nowhere to be seen. its association. pavlov. i notice.
May 28th, 2006 at 12:05 pm
Dear Kacper,
What i meant is. When i finally arive - i dont know how i do it, but i do - at the point, place or dimension where i feel empowered, calm enough, not needy enough, kind of maturely ‘in control’ (but with humour and a sense of possibility i guess) of my emotions enough and (quietly or loudly) confident enough to do what i think I know I want to do, what i have been wishing to do, what i yearn to do (i.e. visit the buddhist temple on my sunday off, even for a bit or whatever) everyone starts becomming my best friend and inviting me to see them, or “whatever” happends, is said or done, so that im in dillema mode and in 2,3,4,5,6, or 7,8 and 9, minds about as whether I should/can do it or not.
Eventually i do what the other has invited me to do, and later on I even thank god or whatever for the other person being in my life and being a manefistation of gods compassion and guidence as to prevent me to do something that would be harmful or delusional or misguided for me, or that would hurt me.
Sometimes though it seems that in the rare occasion when i do go or do what i want - against others wishes - (or it seems under the watchfull eyes of disaproving interogators) and in a panicked, fast heart rate mode run away to do that that thing, eventually when i get there or do it, it is all half hearted, distant, im too afraid to integrate as much as i would have in case its evil, and when im there i am a completely different personality to the one who would have been if i had gone initially without interuptions.
My life isnt much of a joy when it seems like im playing games (with myself?) but whatever.
Guilt, self doubt, self conceitedness, self delusion, obligation, responsibility, everything is a sign saving me from the errors and wrongdoing of myself.
Hence, in this relative dimension, when im at most peace and feel most nearer the truth is when after a long day of mental and physical pilgramages or whatever, i give up for my tiredness and lie on my bed, in the dark with a torch facing the pages of the Tao Te Ching by stephen mitchel, or the tibetan book of the dead, or david icke’s final chapters in his books, or the way of the sufi by idres shah, or a book on dzogchen, or whatever, and there in between my awake (if you can call it awake!) state and my sleap, in between there i feel close to death and at peace, where there is no struggle and in that haze, that nobodyness, everything makes sense … and i kinda dont exist and it feels good.
So how does my peak experience relate with yours?! thats why i asked you HOW can i put down my parachute. what does that mean for ME ?
for me it seems to mean giving everything up and being dead and being reckless even. I dont know.
whats wrong?
Can you write anything about this? Can you help?
Truman show paranoid delusions???? I just got a message saying times up and computert will close down!! just as wheni t good.l|!!
May 29th, 2006 at 1:17 pm
This is my last nag to you (hope you understand what ‘nag’ means in the brittish term - it means “annoying you”) and this follows on from the 3 letters/comments I sent you yesterday and can be read in chronological order. I thank you for so far reading them and putting up with my self absorbed, uninvited outbursts.
———
5 minutes after leaving the internet shop when my money ran out yesterday after my last post I remembered what I do next / what happends next:
———
… and finally when all is said and done i recall letting go, “so what i cant do what i please?” attachment 2 desire is not the way, happyness is not some place or time or ‘where’, happyness is not the external but is within. which paradoxically leads me back 2 wanting to go to the tibetan monetary ( or the mosque. ) - so i live in a paradox in a way, where, in crude language, my desire is to get out and leave and learn about life and death which might involve going to a ‘buddhist’ monastary. I double think here and realise how absurd this all sounds. its not as if i want to go to a club or something is it (while people are suffering etc)!?! so i dont get what i want becuase theres always some truman show thing stopping me and then becuase i cant get what i want i have to just accept it/my fate/etc and I walk on and I remember/discover that getting what u desire is what leads to suffering and that i can be happy in the here and now even if that means a train station or toilet or at work ot whatever and so on and on it goes. and my unfullfillment/frustration continues. or you might say i delude myself that it does; “its our attachment to the conditions that … ” i.e. i want to be sad as that is the way ive learnt works for me to get approval.
why need approval says you? and me!
anyway ….
Anyway, i did in the end manage to go to the monestary yesterday, (and did so in a kind of panicked mode where thoughts like ‘ur going to get what u deserve’ in a not so positive way surfaced) and when i walked through the open, concealed and welcoming doors and open space I came to the meditation hall where i was stunned by the roaring silence of people sitting in the dark on a summery, busy sunday doing absolutely nothing and meditating. it was profound. but i didnt have the guts to go in. i felt unworthy, id destroy their silence, and that i have alot of learning to do b4 i could join them ( i.e. i need to get to thier level of independance, confidence, level of living, level of responsibility and acceptance of who they were, and joy and laughter and non desire and comfortable with talking to others, socialising, accepting human traits and getting laid … although dont get me wrong - i have done that, albeit a few times and i feel inadequate and incapacited in terms of my relations with the opposite gender, my own gender and the world in general).
anyway. [i have been giving to others, so dont get me wrong im not irresponsible in terms of not providing to my family. (u know, as an aside - its quite weird, table turning, shocking, demorolising to some extent and ‘how did the fuck that happen’ when the father who loved you and beat u etc, and the family u thought at many points where just so backward and preventing u from becoming the person you really are, turn out one day not only to be now kind of reliant on your help and but also now giving u lectures again but this time on the freedom, “being your self” and god is within u kind of thing - which makes it a bit hard to swollow, although ive gotten used to it. I kind of have to forget ‘my story’ when listenting to him, becuase I cant say its wrong can i!? he’s right only…why didnt u listen to me 10 years ago when i just wanted peace and was telling u guys that. anyway, this all has helped me to be a non lecturing kind of more ‘listening’ person and less of a hypocrite so in a way in thankful, but in another way it dont do much for my confidence coz at the back of my mind is ‘there must be a reason why its ok for them but it wasnt ok for me, so i must be kind of fucked up , innately erronous and sick’]
So, continuing with my description yesterday;
I took my last look at the profound peace, detachment, silence, dark and calm that was the medition hall filled with people either so much more better or so much more deluded then me (i could tell by the footwear on the rack - trendy white caucasians). The mediation hall incidently reminded me of the moment before i drift off to sleap in that death state where the ‘fast paced, know it all, desireful, involving, interupting, fascist at times, crazy, talkative, chatty, action packed and intellectual world’ leaves me alone and i can be dumb slow me and at peace for once.
Anyway, so I took my last look and walked away, slowly in a more peaceful state then when i walked in 3 minutes earlier, and by the time i got to the bus stop to go back home I had a kind of response to the question that had been popping in my head since starting off to get there.
“why am i going? why am i here?”
And i imagined people asking me at the monestary (kind of interogating me - coz im not for real - im just a fraud) and my answer should/would quite honestly (i think) have been:
“becuase i dont get laid. becuase i want to get laid”
“Now, dont take me wrong guys, im not here to find a chick ot a soul matey or an orgy - how low and embarrasing that would be! (but secretely if they offered me one id might jump into it) - but im here becuase the frustrations of not getting what i want, not getting “it” - laid, popularity with women etc, enlightenment, awareness, freedom, discapline, strength, succuss, ‘the secret language of men and women’ that leads to causal encounters, the acceptance of myself, laid - has given me this more trancendending buddha understanding and hence my contemplation of this / distraction from this / of this has urges me to come here.
I led me to come here becuase its here i think i will learn to be able to deal with all these things and become better and escape from samsara”.
(…but i have read a bit so i know i havnt expressed it too right, and words like ‘better’, ‘escape’ etc are a symptom of me missing the point totally. but u get what i mean.)
“Actually im not here to try and deal with these things at all, i know they cant be dealt with.
…but in my reading and reflection, i have realised / discovered a larger scheme/purpose/universe of ‘no purpose’ and this is closer to the truth of why im here. It makes me feel better about life, the world and myself. even though simultaneously i want the other stuff too.”
“so you might say im here becuase of a kind on arrogance / pride / sometimes inferiority and sometimes superiority complex, and im deluding myself”
“its a bit like Graduate who says: ive failed with women, ive failed with work, ive failed with life etc …. what shall i do ? …. ah I know, I’ll become a lecturer!” - i saw a cartoon depicting this is my univiersity days.
Thank you for reading this post and the previous three before it.
Any help or comments or whatever you may have I would be really grateful for.
Thank you,
P.S. Have you ever read “You are the eyes of the world” by Longchenpa, published by snow lion press?
and have you ever read
1. Sura 36 - ‘Ya Sin’ (often described as ‘the heart of the Quran’) or
2. Sura 17 - ‘the night journey’ in the Quaran ?
Kascper you seem so wise - I would be very interested in your answers and thoughts.
S.